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<title>Kintsugi Bouquet by Hot_Mild_Sweet_n_Salty</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23463082">Kintsugi Bouquet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot_Mild_Sweet_n_Salty/pseuds/Hot_Mild_Sweet_n_Salty'>Hot_Mild_Sweet_n_Salty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ShikaSaku Hanami 2020 [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, First POV, One sided romance, Sickness, unrequited pining, vague allusion to death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:55:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23463082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot_Mild_Sweet_n_Salty/pseuds/Hot_Mild_Sweet_n_Salty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Short vignettes of Shikamaru watching Sakura live a happy life without him.</p>
<p>Bakes on Hanahaki with a dash of Kintsugi. </p>
<p>From Shikamaru's POV</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(One Sided) Nara Shikamaru/Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ShikaSaku Hanami 2020 [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>ShikaSaku Hanami 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kintsugi Bouquet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Idk if this really fits the parameters of the challenge, but since its for the extra day, I figured it was alright. This is kind of sad, I guess, but there's nothing explicit in terms of romance, smutt, or death. It's explicitly vague with Shikamaru's feelings.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was never easy to breath when Sakura was in the room. Something about her just vacuumed the air around me. I could never look her in the eye.</p>
<p>I was certain the pink camellia petals dusting my pillow when I awoke were nothing. Winter raged on outside of the window.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>Ino, bless her soul, checked in on me regularly. She never commented on the jar of petals next to the bed that were always fuller than the last time.</p>
<p>Sakura’s punch was akin to a god. There was no other way to describe it. Even when we brawled, no chakra, no jutsu, her punches landed true and they hurt. But her touch when she healed away those bruises… I ignored the tightening in my chest, pretending it was the cigarettes that were getting to me.</p>
<p><br/>
She never questioned it, instead running a soothing green hand over my chest. It only made me ache more.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>I wondered if she remembered their nights together during the war. She battles away my demons with the same fervor as her battles with the Zetsu. She healed me when I was broken. There were cracks in my bones and heart that she put back together with mini pits of molten gold, burning from the inside out.</p>
<p>I would never admit the first petal to pass through my lips was of her namesake.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>I always wondered if she would taste like the animitsu Sasuke brought to her.  Red carnations blended so well with blood.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>Sasuke was undoubtedly better than me at many things. Unfortunately, getting Sakura to love with every fibre of her being was one of them. I know I never stood a chance from the moment she saw him, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t dream.</p>
<p>The years he spent gallivanting the continent, leaving Sakura to heal her own broken heart was the closes I would ever get to holding her. I wonder why Naruto left her behind as well.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>Ino told me once that daffodils were a sign of unrequited love. It makes sense that the yellow blossom would be the first to fully form, half-bloomed and soaked in blood.</p>
<p> <br/>
I made sure Sakura was never my medic when I checked in. None of the others said anything. I knew what was happening. I knew how to fix it. I knew that the outcome would be worse than dying for love.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p><br/>
Sasuke was well aware of my feeling for his wife. I could feel it in the way he watched me, like a predator watching prey, whenever we were in the same room, regardless of whether Sakura was there or not. </p>
<p>He would watch me, with those devilish eyes of his, as he showered Sakura in gifts and attention, always making sure I stayed at least an arms-length away. </p>
<p>I didn’t mind. At least he let me near her at all.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>I could hear the gold holding me together melting into my veins, sizzling fiery hot in its tempest.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>Ino was the first to confront me. She knew from the beginning, but that didn’t mean she was okay with me letting myself die. She threatened to tell my mother. I told her my mother would understand. </p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>I remember the day Sarada was born. Sakura had been waddling around the village on the verge of popping for months. She was always smiling that dazzling grin of hers, so full of love and adoration it hurt. She asked Naruto and Hinata to be the godparents.</p>
<p>Sasuke made sure I was last to see the baby. She had the same eyes as her father, but I could tell she would grow up to be exactly like her mother.</p>
<p>I pitied the poor fool dumb enough to fall for her.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p><br/>
Flowers littered my apartment like discarded memories, feather-light emotion I’d never feel returned, a thousand pounds on my shoulders. My mom yelled at me, but like I told Ino, she understood why I did what I did.</p>
<p>Life wasn’t worth living if you didn’t love.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>Camellias, soft and pink like her hair. </p>
<p>Carnations, not quite the dark red of my blood, scattered on the hardwood.</p>
<p>Daffodils, fully bloomed and bright with unshed tears.</p>
<p>Zinnias. Ino said the magenta ones meant long-lasting affection.</p>
<p>Sakura petals were beautiful in the moonlight.</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>Sasuke was the first to visit me in the hospital. He watched with cold eyes as I coughed up fully bloomed flowers and blood flecked with gold. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, you’re not.” I grimace at his voice.</p>
<p>“No, I’m not.”</p>
<p>: :</p>
<p>I wondered if she ever realized my flowers, set on stalks of gold and tied with locks of soft pink hair, were meant for her.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had a really great time participating in this even, and I'm excited for the next one that rolls around. I haven't ever stuck with a challenge like this beyond the first couple days, so I'm really proud of myself for finishing it. </p>
<p>This definitely got some of my creativity going, and I hope this energy follows me to some other stories that I've been meaning to work on already.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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